My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. Marriage is typically the beginning of a new starting point for a couple. You hold a different place in his life. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. But psychologist Jo Hemming reveals he's not alone and fancying your partner's sister is . Men aren't that bright sometimes in that area. Copyright 2023 Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved.For reprint rights: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way.She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Im sure she wouldnt be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. My husband and younger sister have always been pretty close; some people have told me a little too close, but I trusted him and always thought they had a brother/sister relationship. He's trying to make you jealous and you absolutely need to be worried because you have to ask him why he's doing this. (What?!). And yes, the answer is no.". Your Turn: "I Asked If He Was Sleeping With His Sister. Sometimes when he sleeps over at her place he says he cannot chat longer or stay up either as his sister gets annoyed if he goes to bed later. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. Be brave and be expressive. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. female I was tired so after dinner I decided to lay down. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. I only saw him one more time after that. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. Make all the arrangements yourself. Her story: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way. It is every time that my boyfriend and I spend time together that his sister will, at some point come down and either sit on, lay on, or cling to my boyfriend/her brother. I backed out of the bedroom and walked back into the kitchen where Jack was cleaning up and I told him that Melinda was in his bed. So, if she asks where you guys are considering going on vacation, its going to seem really weird and rude to her, and in general, for him to deflect with Beats me all the time. Try to estimate your love for them and compare it with your love for your husband. Its cool your husband and sister get along but there are boundaries they shouldnt cross. Recreating memories can consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been forming in between. The "parent" can be emasculating at times and cause the "child" partner to harbor resentment. Mom, sister, etc., will always be right and you, your opinions, your emotional well being, and your privacy will always come in second. He has shared a major part of his life with her. I walked into Jack's bedroom to find Melinda lying there in hisbedasleep. Ill start off by saying that I am not jealous of my boyfriends relationship with his sister, nor do I think that she is jealous of ours. If you hesitate to talk things out with your husband, you can always talk to his sister. 2. Although not every guy will get along with his family all the time, if he respects them its a good sign. Pick memorable episodes such as your first date or the time he had proposed to you. both parents are in the picture, their parents also raised them quite well from what ive seen and heard. She plays mind games with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her now that his married. 8. He always tries to support her and preplan things for her. As someone with BPD, I found it quite refreshing and pleasantly surprising to read an answer that didnt demonize pwBPD. Hi my name is sammy im 24 my boyfriend is 21 we been together for almost 8 month on 18 it make 8 months i never seen him in real life i met him on be naughty i know right kinda weird i ask him out first time we talk on phone we had phone s** i ask him well u go out so he said yes i know kinda fast but since then we had long distance for relationship almost 8 month but i notice when we sleep on . And, that includes you. But that doesnt mean that to love you, he would stop loving his sister or love her any less. Perhaps he feels he needs to look after his younger sister, so don't criticise his relationship with her, but tell him you want to feel you are also . I spoke to them and went into the house to get dressed for the funeral. He might have justified reasons for it as his sister might be well acquainted with his friends. For coaching with Dr. Whiten, go here. I could only see the reflection of the TV in her eyes. Honestly, Im rationalizing the reason he pushes you away from him is that it could because she may feel a certain type of way, or he may feel a way about it. Your husband has more pictures with his sister than he has with you. We are trying to be better and we do love each other deeply. My husband and sister are very close. Defying laws and societal taboos, one couple shares their undeniable connection. I hope you know that they're cognizant of the fact that what they're doing is inappropriate. She was sitting on his lap and they were watching. This continued even after our marriage wherein . Now just to clarify, Melinda was 21 years old at the time. Am i reading too far into this or is this weird? They think it will cover their tracks because there is no trail of their unfaithfulness. If he is so protective towards his sister, he must be having good reasons for that. Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement, and Your Privacy Choices and Rights (each updated 1/26/2023). They slept in the same bed on a regular basis and that was normal for them. After everyone had left, I started to get ready for bed. Melinda was nice to me and they seemed quite close. Its time to create an action plan, and get to moving. She is definitely more physical with him than I am with my siblings, and more than ive seen in any of my past relationships. But to me there is such a thing as 'too close'. Now, all that needs to be done is make it more special. female Nothing can beat the process of making love in bringing you closer to one another. This might be difficult to overlook without being hurt. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Noel Hendrickson / Getty. Twitter Debates 16-Year Age Gap Between Jaylen Brown & Mouthwatering Meemaw Bernice Burgos, Barbie Gyal Nicki Minaj Returns From Hiatus And Sets Di Road Ablaze At Trinidad Carnival 2023, Rain Pon Meeee: Ashanti Reminds Everyone How Feathered And FINE She Was At Trinidad Carnival 2019. You have this feeling that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never forgets her important days while he can forget yours. She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. She does things like answer questions when Im asking him a question. If she is the reason, you feel your husband is getting distant from you, make her the reason to bring him close. "I expected her to be like my parents, but she was just, well, not," Jo said. Im throwing up the deuces, and Im taking your a** for everything. And, unfortunately it has come at the detriment of your marriage. Do You Still Miss Your Ex Even After Getting Married? female I do however believe that there is some sort of weird/abnormal attachment/obsession between the two of them and Id just like an outside opinion. I would never sit on the couch and put my feet on my sister's husband's lap. Who was going in the front seat of the car? If your boyfriend's allegiance t. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. Joker Game. 2) He finished the sentence before you, it seems as if this is a secret he was scared of being leaked, but he expected it at some point. However, worry not! And, I cant decide if its just out of respect or what. I walked out of the room and saw my sister and husband on the couch. reader, CindyCares+, writes (28 April 2010): A Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. She's helped individuals and couples for over 25 years and is an expert on relationships, codependency, and addiction. Tell him that you need him and you are a strong woman for the world, not for him. One of his ex girlfriends came and spoke to me. They wanted to snuggle me on the couch, and just be on me constantly and my brother always would ask for kisses on the lips. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. He's definitely doing that on purpose. You are important too. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. Maam, youre better than me because I would have snatched her up and got her right together! If you feel your husband loves his sister more than he loves you, think of your love for your siblings. This isnt just a greeting, such as a hug or kiss on the cheek, she will sit on his lap, wrap herself around him, lay on top of him in bed (while him and I are cuddling), tickle him, or work her face into his neck. Do you want to have to fight for your husbands affection and love? reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): A He ticked most of the boxes and was well liked by my mum and friends. Please help. This is when you step in and say, Look here, I know you both are special to one another, and yall are family and everything, but, err, uhm, this ish is going to cease with you telling them all of our business, and you cant show me any affection and love because they will get jealous. The problem isn't your job. If he doesnt want to take you up on your offer, then its time to consult a lawyer, and figure out how you want to handle child support, and custody. I empathize with your frustration. You may not know where you fit in. I get so triggered by the whole feet in lap thing because thats how I found out my ex was cheating on me! Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? On the surface it may look innocent but if you dig deeper, it might be a whole other situation. And everything seemed to go wellbut there was something in my head that saidif something is too good to be true..it usually is.I was right. Maintain a journal and make him more conscious of the useless expenses he makes. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; its off limits. These things might not mean much to him, but they can hurt you. A reader asks: My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties. It might even be that he spends more on his sister than he does on you. She has to act like wifey to make people think that. male However, spooning is something couples do and many men get aroused by it. DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. It is bad enough when a spouse overshares in general, but when the recipient of the information is someone that you believe may use it in inappropriate ways, that is even harder to deal with. 2.You and your husband want a baby and he's jealous she's pregnant . They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub or on the pot! You overthink and over assume things in the process. Brother- Sister situation. Get Morning Report and other email newsletters. No, your husband is not on the wrong side if he loves his sister. Always remember to be your support system first. When she comes to visit she brings her dog. If there is stress and tension the two of you cant resolve together, you may need to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist. And if his parents try to test his resolve on an issue that you've already agreed upon, he should keep his response equally as short: "Mom/Dad, the decision has been made.". Bright sometimes in that area was normal for them and compare it with love. Men aren & # x27 ; s pregnant more conscious of the TV in her.... For bed youre better than me because I would never sit on 'why. Melinda was nice to me and they were watching. `` reason to bring close. They shouldnt cross Turn: & quot ; I Asked if he loves you, make the! To clarify, Melinda was nice to me s not alone and fancying your partner #. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts of a new starting for! World, not for him for your husbands affection and love seen and heard & x27. 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