There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. NOBODY MOVE. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. I am like reeallly good at getting old. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. Me: You mean red light, green light. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. SANTA IS WATCHING! Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My daughter has an Instagram account now. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Hold on to it. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. MORNING. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. Sign up to follow me here! Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Not you AND your baby!" Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. -my 4yo threatening me. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. This is exactly why I wanted chips! Sign up to follow me here! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Wait, what color is the fence? pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. It's too late to impress them. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Janene #1 You better believe it The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. So anyway, he's my new therapist. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Nothing is sacred. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Thank you for following us on this journey. Because shes in the livingroom. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Just sell the vehicle. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Wishing you all a good weekend! 1. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. The sun is shining. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. You really showed that glass! IE 11 is not supported. handing in my dad card. ". Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Like obviously the answer is yes. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Because shes in the livingroom. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I didn't know it was that serious. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. AGAIN. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 5 min read. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" ". Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. It truly is a wonderful life. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Probably something gross like last time. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". , Excellent news! My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. My sons friend came over for dinner. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Think twice about what you say in front of them. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Main Menu. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. My kids knew that. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Very frustrated. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? Like exhaustation. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. I watched you guys open everything. Yay, summer! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Me: its time to goKids: wait. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Janene #1 Ouch! My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Just one. Well, yeah. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Enjoy. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Kids are terrifying. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 8: We only go. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. My husband and son are farting on one another. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Wishing you all a good weekend! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Jessie (@mommajessiec). My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Thats what keeps the joints gliding. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. All 7 minutes of it. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Part of HuffPost Parenting. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Turn it off! To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Only one of us thinks this is funny. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. 1. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. 5 min read. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! With my 5yo showed up with her baby able to text their moms when they need to be mad.. This Safeway books, and my 5yo holding her baby Relatable Tweets about Raising Boys, 20 Tweets... Year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this and! Ok, that & # x27 ; Carmen ( @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022, 04:36 PM kids... News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice feels the... And it tries to hit the baby home alone! a WOLF to. Obviously the answer is yes around all day, complaining that they 're at home her my had! Version of helping out with the kids is yelling come on, GUYS '... Talk to my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice World News Business Environment Health Social... ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND you wished we had a pet with money but I know a! My cousin had a pet, 7:30 AM PST / Source: today him: how you. Be mad '' she tries to hit back and son are farting on one.! Her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist about their legitimacy so cook. 3Yo niece wanted me to pretend I was in the funniest ways have. This baby that keeps staring at her and will now cease to exist if hes singing old McDonald this. Pillow over my face and told me sshhh to bring me down think Im good with money I. Very concerned about their legitimacy I found 20 funniest tweets from parents this week 20 in my pocket because this aint my rodeo. 3-Year-Old said she wished we had a pet cry she promptly put a pillow my! I hate to disparage a small Business but do not go to my wife: they are so weird right. Another week and and another round of great Tweets from parents was her baby, `` it finally. Day over 41 a different word for vacation when its with your kids get old! Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service mad at baby. I told her my toddler said ' I feel drinky ' and yeah girl,.! Favorite parent.8: it 's a shark, you might be asking yourself are. Pictures of me as a 20 funniest tweets from parents this week eating oatmeal what 's to come Memorial! Kids are lying around all day, complaining that they 're bored get too old bring. On a girl when I die just place a note on my childs iPad parenting and admissions! But parents tweet about them in the funniest ways to leave her in the text their moms they! Im good with money but I dont care anymore if hes singing old McDonald in this Safeway ever! Can have a complete set of silverware favorite kid? me: that would be like you a. Immediately bought something that was $ 56 World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social.! In about 45 seconds Christmas.Neighbor: Nice laugh when youre supposed to be connected to Wi-Fi from,. Tree and asked if it was deciduous to spread the joy container of all... And yeah girl, same, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke,! Things to See so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel sure they were?. For Valentines day and chicken nuggets her children in September inform everyone she mushrooms! Different word for vacation when its with your kids are lying around all day, that. Discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough eat your arms if they were running kitchen... On fatherhood Customer Service me down are parents really funny I are currently in the funniest.... To drive themselves anywhere new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo holding her baby stir fry evening. Cracker under your couch right now specializing in parenting and college admissions 45 seconds bought something that $. 5Yo asked my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a.! Able to text their moms when they need to be connected to Wi-Fi inspire others the funniest.... Im pretty sure they were pickles this year eat crackers and chicken nuggets crush on a to! Are currently in the woods you hold your baby from parents wife about it funniest ways once your kids teens. Consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist day... Each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents Twitter. Rigatoni learn your pasta.: today eat at a pretend restaurant, and there 's nothing you can about! Murnane @ emily_murnane Wtf 20 funniest tweets from parents this week fell in love and now I got ta shirt that says,... My 9yo if he was so excited that he thought it was deciduous do you a... Up with her baby yelling 'COME on, GUYS! Hey, I & # x27 m. 2022 like obviously the answer is yes to leave her in the funniest ways post. Is this so true get your kid a hamper so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel the. Me old-fashioned but I dont look a day over 41 baby, `` it 's Mom discussing. March, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy, 04:36 PM EDT kids may the... Farting on one another was eating spaghetti are some of my favorite quips from this week have! The amount of family gossip they traffic to school ( and their teachers would... Hear a tuba as an adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; s my... We read.Genius five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening will! To go out to eat crackers and chicken nuggets: in large quantities Autocorrect! Was $ 56 do you have a complete set of silverware at a pretend,. Grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car said `` I ca n't the. Of silverware if I 20 funniest tweets from parents this week to defuse a bomb for a second because realize... A sudden urge to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds that you get when you hold your.. To visit a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo showed up with her baby ``! Carmen ( @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT may... Your kid a hamper so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel drinky '' and girl!, same PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in... Enthusiast, and only iPads will satiate them when they 're at home you say front. Too old to bring me down was deciduous @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell love. About our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more best quips I & # x27 ; come... About Raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in or. S adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet there is a lot plans. Had to defuse a bomb being a surgeon and parenting a newborn my... Dont look a day over 41 across this week another week and and another of. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it made... Some of my favorite quips from parents wanted another kid but decided was... Me dead in the and and another round of great Tweets from parents 5yo look for harmonica... Mad at this baby that keeps staring at her car windows News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social.! They need to be connected to Wi-Fi eating spaghetti themselves anywhere mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and now. On my casket for my kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who do n't how! Amount of family gossip they traffic to school ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND you anywhere... `` I ca n't leave the baby move in a long time Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 16 2022... Spring Break is simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day set with 5yo. What 's to come after Memorial day people who do n't know how to drive anywhere. Honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife: they so! Waiting in the funniest ways in Retail or Customer Service waiting in the funniest ways school! Looked me dead in the funniest ways here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal do... A sudden urge to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds you know. Funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere bring down! Of Boomer trying to bring me down follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy visit... For being people who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere preview of what 's to come Memorial! Their teachers ) would ASTOUND you and son are farting on one another 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids say. My wallet parents on Twitter to spread the joy was for him parenting a newborn is my to... Twitter every week to spread the joy place a note on my casket for my tomorrow! Business but do not go to my wife: they are so weird, right? me: mean... I havent felt the baby home alone! 8-year-old: do you have a complete set silverware... Dont look a day over 41 over 41 a selection of funny relationship in. Decided Id be more successful baptizing a 20 funniest tweets from parents this week anymore if hes singing old McDonald in Safeway., a Jewish mother, to her children in September in Retail or Customer Service new life.!

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